A Mixed-Race Memoir’s Journey to Publication

Written by Kelly Davis https://www.esuantsiwagoldsmith.com/

In March 2015 my friend Marion Bowman invited me to her house in Cockermouth because she knew I was involved in publishing and she had a visitor, then known as Jane Goldsmith, who had just started work on a memoir. 

At that stage, Jane (now known by her Ghanaian name Esuantsiwa) was a little hesitant about the idea of publishing her life story. When she gave me a brief outline, I could tell that it would be a rollercoaster – and it would be deeply personal. It was clear that some parts would be difficult for her to write – and perhaps difficult for family members and friends to read. But I also knew that hers was a story that needed to be told.

Her search for a sense of identity had dominated her life and I could tell that she would have no peace of mind until she had written about it. And secondly, the time was right for a book like hers. Even though we now live in a society that is supposedly more inclusive than it once was, racism still permeates life in the UK and elsewhere, and we need honesty, communication, understanding and empathy to root it out. For all these reasons, more black and mixed-race voices need to be heard.

I moved up to Cumbria in 1989 after working in publishing in London for a few years. I usually take on commissions as a freelance editor and I’ve only ever agented a handful of books – so I was also a little hesitant. I knew how difficult it was for unknown authors – especially writers of colour – to get publishing deals, and I was worried about raising Esua’s hopes, only to have them dashed. But when she sent me a link to a YouTube interview (put together by her mentor Ros Eyben), I was won over by her strength of character, liveliness, warmth and humour.

And of course I fell in love with her draft manuscript – the funny, touching scenes from her childhood on the Shaftesbury estate, her romantic adventures in Finland and Italy, her struggle to be taken seriously as the first Mixed-Race person to go to Tanzania with VSO, the desperate search for her father, the joy of their reunion and finding her family in Ghana.

Those who have already read her book will have their own favourite scenes – but I laughed out loud when I read the section describing the rehearsing and performing of Esua’s first literary production, a play called ‘Why I Am Brown’. I also loved the part about her early success as a writer – with fanzine stories about the Beatles, written for her school friends. 

In short, I became a paid-up member of Team Esua and decided I would find a way to get her book published somehow. Over the next few years, Esua continued writing and we worked on the text together. It went through many versions and there were times when she almost lost heart and confidence, as writing a book like this demands a huge amount of the author, emotionally and psychologically.

But I was able to bolster her courage, by phone and email, and we had some wonderful breakthroughs – like the moment when we both realised the narrative had to start with the beautiful scene of four-year-old Esua on Clapham Common, seeing another black child for the very first time – and realising that she was not alone.

When we were both happy with the text, I started submitting it to a few publishers. We got some encouraging responses but nobody had the vision or courage to put their money where their mouths were, and offer her a contract. Then we luckily discovered that Jacaranda were asking for submissions for a ground-breaking initiative – ‘Twenty in 2020’, to publish 20 BAME authors this year. I sent in Esua’s manuscript and we were both overjoyed when Valerie told us Jacaranda wanted to publish ‘The Space Between Black and White’.

Esua did further work on the text with her in-house editor Cherise Lopes-Baker and the book was finally published on 5th March 2020. She was also invited by Audible to narrate her own memoir, which she has done brilliantly. 

I hope Esua’s wonderful book will reach many readers, particularly the growing numbers of mixed-race people struggling to find their own sense of identity and space in the world. It is now available from most bookshops, on  Amazon and direct from the publisher. www.jacarandabooksartmusic.co.uk

You can hear Esua talk about her book at this London Library online event on 16th July, with fellow ‘Twenty in 2020’ author Njambi McGrath. Standing Up and Finding a Voice Online

This article has been adapted from Kelly’s speech  at the book launch which is worth watching in full: 

The Space Between Black and White Book Launch

The Space Between Black and White by Esuantsiwa Jane Goldsmith

Nicole Cottingham Book Review

Incredible. Incredible. Incredible. This year I’ve been wandering aimlessly from book to book not being able to settle on anything. Kelly Davis recommended ‘The Space Between Black and White’ to me and I was hooked.

If you have ever felt like an outsider; if you have ever felt like “an only”, if you have ever felt misunderstood; if you have ever struggled with your sense of identity – you will feel at home in this book. If you haven’t, then this book is also for you.

Esua’s story is a beautiful one. Her honest voice in her writing draws you into her vibrant world which is only made more powerful because of its truth. Esua is bold in shining a light on injustices, which she has fought and campaigned against for many years, but humbly leaves space for the reader to grapple with them too. She leaves space for you to feel the weight of the responsibility which lies with you. We need to have more open conversations about race – now. This book is a start. It’s important, compelling, fantastic – read it.

“He was at home in his own skin. He wasn’t born with a sense of isolation and longing for adventure like me. I am always searching for something just out of reach, wanting my life, society, the world, to be different, especially for women, for Brown and Black people, gay people, disabled people, people in poverty, people who are alone and abandoned. I can never just accept things the way they are. The world doesn’t accept me the way I am.” 

‘Twenty in 2020’ Jacaranda Publishes 20 Black British Writers in 2020

Photo on left: Valerie Brandes (publisher), Esua, Kelly Davis and Cherise Lopes-Baker (editor)